4:37 PM | Diposkan oleh
siiplah
It was a big day for the two boys. Quo drifted between Mars and Jupiter, paused, then shot through the black void to Mercury for a different view. He still wasn't happy with it. His brother, Quisi, rested his gas on one of Saturn's moons and yawned.
"It's fine."
Quo spun back and hovered above the thick orange smog of Titan's atmosphere, looked at his brother and shook his head.
"Hmm. I don't know, I still think it looks funny."
Quo's barely discernible essence streaked over to Earth again.
"I'm just going to get rid of some of the cloud, make it show up better."
"Quo, it's fine. In fact, it's perfect, it's creation in its ultimate majesty. Now leave it alone, if you muck it up now we're screwed. They're nearly at our solar system."
"Okay, okay."
"You'll end up getting dark matter all over it if you keep playing with it."
"Shh! He's here."
An unfathomably deep voice resonated beside Quo and Quisi.
"Next up. Quo and Quisi's entry, titled, 'The Importance of Being Earthlings.'"
"Sir Lumpyplop, can I just say how much of an honour it is to have you in our quadrant. I'm Quo, and this is Quisi."
"Yeah great, but there's no points for massaging my ethereal emissions, lads."
Quisi stared cosmic daggers at Quo, whose verve had been tempered somewhat by Lumpyplop's gruffness.
They both watched Lumpyplop as he examined the royal blue blob, jotting notes occasionally. "How long did it take to get it to this stage?"
"Eh, about four and half billion years."
Lumpyplop just grunted and continued peering at the planet. Eventually, he drifted back and directed his attention to Quo and Quisi.
"Give me a reason why this entry deserves to win."
Quo responded with vigour and zeal.
"Well sir, it's a Category Five creation. Obviously from this faraway vantage point it looks fairly standard, but I think you'll find that it boasts a quite outstanding array of life. If you'd like to have a quick zoom in while I recount a few of the more notable examples."
Lumpyplop sent a swathe of almost intangible effluvia into the Earth's atmosphere while Quo proudly babbled on. Quisi squirmed to suppress another yawn.
"The specimens are all free range; we've designed the construct so that they have free license to create and expand and prosper as the see fit. They're puzzle-solving skills have proved to be very impressive, albeit over the course of a few billion years. And the sky's not just the limit, either. A number of specimens have even managed to sail to the moon. Although, one of them did defecate on its surface as a private joke amongst him and his cohorts."
"Tsk Tsk Tsk."
"Afraid so, but you see, they do display amazingly interesting habits. And they've never escaped the scatological fascination. It seems to be inherent."
Lumpyplop suddenly went from irritable to a fully fledged bad mood. A whole eon of wading through the students half-baked experiments had taken its tole. He'd picked the wrong day to give up ionized-plasma.
"Yes, yes, bloody great. Lads! Do you know how many other planets I've seen this morning exactly like this one? And it's the same bloody story, the students are always so fascinated with their own little ball of sludge. You've got the next 30 moon-phases to sell me your planet."
Quo's gassy countenance floundered and flared its way through the whole spectrum of colour. Quisi flowed forth, billowing his brother to one side.
"Listen Sir Lumpsalot, or whatever your name is. Our specimen kicks arse and here's why. Not only are our monkey lads self-aware, they're self-important. We've got little groups kicking the shit out each other because of what one little monkey-man may or may not have written about some other lad centuries before. A whole load of them chase little scraps of filthy paper like it's their ticket out of there. They've made an absolute shite of the place, but they make themselves feel better by pretending they're gonna fix it. And to top things off, they dare to wonder, wonder if they're the only intelligent life in the universe. They've got an ego bigger than the heavens and delusions of grandeur more insane than anything we've ever seen. They are a truly magnificent creation. Who else could come up with something as unique as this?"
Lumpyplop grimaced in thought, then his whole swirling substance started to nod in acceptance.
"Hmm. Well done." He sounded slightly surprised at himself. "When you put it like that, it really is quite an achievement. First prize! Congratulations."
Quo almost froze solid in shock, but quickly bubbled and burst around the void in excitement.
Lumpyplop had gathered himself into one purposeful blob. "Right, lads, which way to the nearest celestial boozer? I could murder a pint of the black stuff."
"Oh there's one just down there, next galaxy over and it's on your left." Quisi was feeling magnanimous in victory.
"Cheers lads."
Sir Lumpyplop disappeared and the two boys were left staring at their prize-winning creation.
Quo blushed slightly.
"Boy do I owe you one, Quisi. I thought we lost it, but you really pulled it out of the fire."
"Yeah I did kinda didn't I?"
"First prize. We'll be well known for this. I can see our long and glorious careers as Creators of Life ahead of us, buddy."
"Settle down Quo."
"Oh, yeah, sorry."
"So what do you want to do with this monstrosity now?" Quisi pointed at Earth.
"Well to be honest mate, I'm sick of looking at it. If I never see it again, it'll be too soon."
"Me too."
"Bin it?"
"Bin it."
Quo clasped the planet in his unearthly fingers and squeezed.
Subscribe to:
Post Comments (Atom)
Visiters
Pictures Collection
0 komentar:
Post a Comment